


Aquariumstuck

by fabiosisalert



Category: Homestuck
Genre: EriFef - Freeform, EriSol - Freeform, Jadekat - Freeform, M/M, solfef
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-03-23
Updated: 2015-08-17
Packaged: 2017-12-06 05:40:27
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,221
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/732053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fabiosisalert/pseuds/fabiosisalert
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sollux Captor takes in a strange fish from his boss, expecting it to be an easy job. Of course, his assumptions are so far off base it could be ironic.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sollux was grabbing his car keys and heading out, exhausted from a long day’s work at the local pet shop. He had spent too many hours trying to convince wealthy parents that their spoiled, bratty children deserved the new golden retriever, or the exotic hippies that their birds were not treated any worse than the employees. He didn’t care if he drove himself home asleep- he just wanted to get to his soft, warm bed, pleasantly ignoring the rest of the world. 

Of course, like the rest of his life, nothing went according to plan. The manager, a violent, angry, blue woman who inherited the store from her money-seeking mother, barged from the back room. She carried several cardboard boxes that had all been marked with a thick, black “X” on the front.

“Alright my minions, now’s the time to show you’re truly more than a spineless peasant!” Vriska shouted. Her navy dyed hair waved back and forth almost aggressively. Her eyes glinted with a challenge and drew all the tired, lifeless workers from their napping spots. Most of them checked their watches, and were surprised that it was almost quitting time. Sollux scoffed and stuffed his hands in his pockets. Lazy tools.

Vriska clawed the duct tape off the top of the first box, and drew the prize. Sollux arched an eyebrow and looked at his boss questioningly. His friend, Terezi, peered over his bony shoulder with glee. How did he know she’d like this? Was it the glimmering colors that were reflected in the clear, spotless fish bowl off the exotic species inside, which Vriska gripped stubbornly? Terezi had a thing for neon.

Every box contained a sparkling fish in their empty home, but one in particular drew Sollux in. It could have been the shimmering purple scales that were brighter than all the others, or the way it seemed angry and dissatisfied with life like he was, or even the ostentatious presentation of its gills, but that one was for him.

He had his hands near the bowl quite grabbily before Vriska could bother to explain. She cocked her head and boomed, “Well, Sollux seems to have gotten the message. Why don’t we let him tell you, then? How these fish are endangered and we were the only people so  _generous_  to take them? How they are also expensive and difficult to care for? And that the environmental corps thought it’d be best for true pet lovers and people dedicated to animals to take them? Hmmmmmmmm, Sollux?”

Sollux turned a stony glare to Vriska. He said nothing but kept his mouth in a taut line.

“Thanks for the info, captain. Since that’s what’s going down, I’ll just take this guy right here. See you in the morning, guys,” he said curtly.

Vriska tried to grip the slick glass of Sollux’s bowl, but he was too quick and nimble. Gulps of water sloshed over the edge, but Sollux made sure his little…little  _Eridan_  stayed perfectly safe. He smiled down at him, almost caringly. He had something to look after. He was responsible for another life. 

Wait. The sudden realization hit him.  _He was responsible for another life._ The last time something like that had happened, Aradia…

No, it wouldn’t end that way. Sollux sucked in a deep breath, which Eridan grew curious about and swam furiously to the surface water. His eyes, wide, round and a pale lilac, dilated almost like a cat as he examined the new owner.

Sollux was sure. Eridan was going to be his grumpy, spoiled fish-best-friend. 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux and Eridan finally arrive home.

Sollux loaded Eridan’s fish bowl into the car carefully, and assured his little friend that he would not let him wash away.

“Don’t worry,” he said, “I’ve got you.”

He strapped the passenger’s seat belt over Eridan, and fastened himself  behind the steering wheel. With a sigh and firm squeeze, Sollux slowly put his car into drive. He pulled out cautiously, and never relaxed. He hated driving at night. No, he hated driving at all. 

Sollux kept glancing nervously at his fish, who only glubbed about and wiggled his tail in frustration as the water trembled along with the ride. Eridan seemed perfectly fine, except for the fact that he kept swimming straight into his glass walls. What was up with that? Sollux figured he’d find out later when he had access to his laptop.

The drive struck horror and anxiousness into Sollux’s gut, and the worst part was he had no choice but to keep going forward. Of course, they made it home with no damage or trouble, but Sollux refused to stop shaking until he had placed Eridan safely on his kitchen counter. Boy, would his roommate be furious to see-

“What the fucking hell is this shit?”

Too late.

As Sollux laid his keys beside the fish bowl and turned to the couch for his laptop, Karkat had sneaked downstairs behind his back. He always did that, to scare his best friend when he came home, but tonight Sollux had caught  _him_  by surprise.

Karkat shoved his face to the glass and glowered. “Brought your ugly-ass work home with you?”

Eridan, sensing the rage in Karkat’s grumpy, scrunched up face, spread the fins to the side of his body in a “threatening” manner. Sollux sighed and got comfortable in his usual groove of the sofa cushions.

Karkat scoffed and stuck his short, little tongue at Eridan. 

“Where’d you pick this one up from? I didn’t know there was a place for ridiculously pompous creatures that look like they swam out of a fairy’s gaseous asshole,” Karkat growled. Eridan flashed him yet again and swam in circles aggressively, to which no one paid much attention.

Sollux tapped his way to his browser and remarked, “You would know what that looks like, wouldn’t you KK?”

Karkat swiveled for the refrigerator and let the door bang wide open against the wall. He scavenged for the water purifier, and slammed it beside Eridan’s glass. The fish jumped and his plump, round body forced bubbles to the surface. 

Karkat said, “I bet I could interpret it correctly by looking at this fruity twerp.”

Sollux watched Karkat smash a plastic cup down beside the purifier, and dump water in until it was almost pooling off the top. He replaced the pitcher in their fridge, slammed the heavy door, and crashed beside Sollux on the couch.

“Looking up fun trivia for your new space waste?”

“Yeah. I kinda, dunno, don’t want it to die.”

“Does it have a name?” Karkat wondered.

“Eridan.”

The fish swam to Sollux’s voice until he smacked against the barrier of his bowl. Sollux was surprised and puzzled. He had said Eridan’s name maybe once out loud, and the little guy already knew it was meant for him?

“This fish is something special,” Sollux mused.

Karkat grumbled a sentence or two about everything being “special” to Sollux and cranked the television on.

Sollux felt a grin rising at the corners of his cheeks, something he hadn’t done genuinely since Aradia. He found a handy page about Eridan’s fish type, what it was capable of, and how it was meant to perform. Perform? Yes. Sollux was going to train his little buddy, and they would cream all the competition. He just needed the right equipment.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sollux has a fearful episode.

Eridan, now floating in one still spot at the top of his bowl, had fallen asleep on the cofffee table. Sollux had brought him over as company after Karkat trudged off to bed, grumbling about how early that damn Lalonde had him working the bar. Sollux had stayed awake on the sofa, the glow of his laptop helping keep him up, googling and researching his strange new pet.

"Pet" felt like the wrong word for Eridan, Sollux had thought, since he seemed so much more capable than a run-of-the-mill goldfish or something. Of course, his species may have had something to do with it. In Latin, they were called an extremely long name that Sollux's two years of high school Spanish couldn't translate. There were pictures and a forum for the owners of such strange marine life, both found conveniently on a page called www. **aquariumstuck**.com. Sollux created an account and began scrolling through the topics, looking at the issues and the equipment that most of them needed.

He looked over the edge of his laptop an hour later and sighed. Eridan was floating so peacefully, but unknowingly going to cost him somewhere around six hundred dollars every two months. The larger fish tank he would need was worth three hundred alone. Maybe he should just return Eridan to the pet shop, have Vriska mock him for a couple weeks, and get over it. Sollux slid his computer over to the right cushion of the couch and leaned forward. He hung his hands in his lap and watched the small bubbles roll out of Eridan's mouth and rise to the top of the water.

_"Don't give up so quickly. That's not the man I knew."_

_  
_Sollux jumped to his feet and twisted, searching for the unknown voice frantically. Who had said that? Who was in his house? His breathing was rapid and eyes wide with fear. His glasses had been flung to the ground in the excitement. Eridan was rolling his body over and swimming in circles around the edge of his bowl. He did so jerkily, like he knew something wasn't right.

_"I always believed in you, but you never gave yourself any credit. It's time for you to move on, Sollux, and I think this is the right path to take those steps along."_

_  
_"Who the hell's here?!" Sollux shouted, not caring if he woke Karkat. Maybe _he'd_ know where the voice was coming from. He leapt across the room and flipped on every switch, turning on the overhanging lights above the kitchen, living room, dining room, and the staircase. He heard Karkat shuffle and groan on the floor above him. 

_"Don't give me that. You know very well who I am. Why are you acting so strangely? I always thought you were the normal one in our relationship."_

_  
_Sollux felt like the world around him was blurring to nothing, and he couldn't breathe fast enough. His hands were shaking, pupils dilated, and collapsed back against the sofa. It felt like a heart attack, but there was no pang of pain along his right arm like he was warned about. Who was there, why did they haunt him, and how did they bring back his old memories of Aradia?

 _"Sollux, dear. You're a genius, but you can't figure out my identity? Sweetheart, I think you've lost your mind. Of course, this could also be hinted by your talking with a dead girl._ "

A chilling sweat broke out across Sollux's forehead, and dampened his hanging, triangular bangs. He thrust his face into his hands, and tears slowly dripped between his fingers. Soon he wasn't crying, but sobbing. He felt like such an idiot, whining over someone who'd been gone for five years, but there was nothing he could do at that point. He missed her, everything about her. The way her hair smelled, how her smile looked, the simple form she talked in. 

"Aradia!" he wailed into his palms. 

_"No, don't be emotional. That's not how I remember you, dear. Calm down."_

The voice tried to soothe him, but only made it worse. With one quick hand, he snatched the pillow behind his back. Sollux slammed it onto his face, and wailed. 

"Get away from me! You're not the real her! You'll never be her! She's gone! GONE!" he screeched. Bony, angry fists smashed against the coffee table. The impact hurt, but it felt like an outlet for his pain, no matter how small.

As he beat the wooden surface and kept his face buried within the plush of the pillow, a soft hand rested on his shoulder. Sollux jolted and jumped to the edge of the couch. He peered over the top of his cushion to see Karkat, worried, confused, and only in his boxers, reaching for him.

Sollux fell back against the sofa, sniffling and crying much more softly. Karkat joined him and, unsure of what to do, patted his knee with as a gentle a touch he could manage. Sollux sat up after another ten minutes, rubbing at his puffy red eyes, and stared back at Eridan. The little fish watched him contently, and rammed his face into the glass as he seemed to want to be closer with Sollux. Karkat snatched the bowl and brought it into his lap. Sollux gripped its sides and jammed his nose to the front. Eridan bounced continuously against where his skin was pressed, trying to touch Sollux through his container. 

Karkat asked, quietly, almost in a whisper, "Do you wanna sleep in my room tonight? I'll take the floor and you can have the bed?"

Sollux sighed, saying nothing, and nodded. Karkat did as well, taking his roommate's hand and dragging him up the stairs. Eridan was carried against Sollux's other side, and rubbed affectionately towards his chest. As they climbed the steps, Sollux could have sworn he heard his fish say "Aradia". He jerked his head down and stared into Eridan's eyes, but nothing was there other than large black dots. Karkat put Sollux into his bedroom, not caring if he saw or hated the mess.

Tissues littered the trash can and surrounding floor, clothes were dumped in large, smelly mountains, the computer cluttered with empty soda cans, and his bed undone, the sheets curling inward. Sollux glanced quickly from wall to wall. The posters had changed since he had last been inside Karkat's room, roughly a year ago. A few Will Smith posters had been traded out for recently released romcoms, while many of the Smiths remained intact and staring handsomely at whoever slept in the dirt and crumb ridden bed. Sollux almost scoffed, but there was no energy left in him. Karkat tried to correct his sheets before Sollux could lay down, but it was too late. Sollux had already planted himself firmly into the bedding, after placing Eridan gently down on the Dorito bag-smothered nightstand. 

Karkat sighed, and collected the pillows and blankets from Sollux's room. He kicked the trash out of his way, and made camp in the center of his floor, just to the right of the now snoring Sollux. Sleep didn't come so easily to Karkat, and he lay awake thinking of what he found that night. Sollux's panic attacks were back. It seemed like he forgot how they felt, or these were some new kind of pain to him entirely. He had never cried during one before. The last time Karkat had seen Sollux like that, it had been maybe three years since Aradia's death. He had been fine for a long time then, and it felt like their lives were finally going back to normal. 

Then, he had gone into his closet looking for a coat. He dug through it all the way to the back, furious that he couldn't find it. Lo and behold, a strange box tumbled down from the pocket of another jacket. Sollux opened it, and found the engagement necklace he planned to give Aradia just the night after her accident. She hadn't liked rings, since they interfered with her work as a paleontologist and archaeological digs, so Sollux had put a lot of thought into the gemstones danging from the silver chain. He fell apart for a long time after that. Nothing made him feel alive. Karkat sighed.

He felt his eyes drifting shut, and soon was snoring, much like his best friend. He wished they were more alike, so maybe he could be helpful for once.

Just once.


	4. Chapter 4

The next morning, Sollux woke up with a pounding headache. He found himself in Karkat's room, vaguely remembering details of last night. He recalled something about a hollow, soft voice, but didn't want to think on it for too long. Sitting forward in the musty, garbage stuffed bed, Sollux tapped the glass of Eridan's fish bowl. The little boy glubbed to life, and swam hurriedly in different motions, filled with joy. Sollux smirked and turned to the snoring pile at the foot of the bed.

"Karkat," he hissed through his teeth. The mound of blankets and interrupted dreams grunted angrily and rolled onto its side. "Karkat!" Sollux urged, as he flipped himself to face the bundle of his friend. With a groggy, frustrated snarl, Karkat shot forward from his sheets and slammed his hands onto the floor. "WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE SO FUCKING IMPORTANT THAT YOU HAD TO GET ME OUT OF- oh."

Karkat noticed his digital clock across the room, patiently blinking 9:05 am on his desk. He ruffled his messy hair, and popped his back with an audible clicking noise. Sollux did the same, reaching for Eridan's home as he quietly migrated to his own bedroom. He noticed the immediate lack of his bedding, assuming that had been Karkat's camping gear last night. Why did Sollux need company? Why hadn't he gone to sleep in his own privacy?

Whatever. He was planning on being busy that afternoon, and he didn't need last night's trouble getting in the way. It was a shopping day.

Sollux ambled around his space, latching onto his closet doors and grabbing whatever was hanging inside within his reach. He heard Karkat stumble down the stairs and into the kitchen, with the familiar bang of cabinets echoing as he became angry with their lack of "decent" cereal. Sollux had stuffed himself into a clean pair of pants and shirt when Karkat finally slammed a box (that he expected to be Lucky Charms) onto the counter. He collected Eridan under his arm once again, taking the fish with him back down to the couch. His laptop waited with an empty, void-like screen on the far right cushion, and Sollux wondered why he hadn't bothered to close it.

He felt Karkat's eyes on him as he turned the computer on and reread some of the forum posts he'd skimmed yesterday. Without looking up from his articles, Sollux asked across the room, "What's up, KK? Why the wide stare?"

Karkat shook bright orange-red hair out of his eyes and stared at the floor silently. His spoon was held over the bowl of Lucky Charms (as Sollux's suspicions were correct) until the puffy marshmallows slid back into the milky pool. He held his quiet for a long time, Sollux waiting patiently for an answer, until he finally had something to say.

"No reason. I was just wondering if you remembered any shit, 's all," he said.

Sollux never lifted his eyes from the screen. "What shit?"

"Obviously you don't, so it doesn't really matter," Karkat mumbled, trying to avoid the topic. He was much happier with an unknowing, solid Sollux than a crippled puddle of a man. It was for his own good that Sollux stay in the dark. Both of them seemed to agree on this without a word, as they went back to their morning activities.

Sollux pushed the conversation out of his head as he began mapping his plans. It was going to be an eventful Saturday off, with more exercise than he ever intended on undergoing. The first place to stop would definitely be the pet shop. He wanted everything the expert "fish trainers" owned, no matter the cost. Secondly, he'd head to the veterinarians' office downtown and see if they could check out fish. Third, he might pay a visit to the aquarium and get some extra information from the workers there. Fourth, he and Karkat would grab lunch, as he intended on dragging the poor sucker to every location. Fifth, they'd come home, down a couple of energy drinks, and play Halo until they were dead.

It sounded like a great plan, and Sollux had collected a list of Eridan's requirements. With a glance at Karkat and his furiosity towards the leprechaun's maze of his cereal box, he knew it would be a difficult argument to get him coming along.

Eventually, after much kicking, screaming, dragging, biting, surprise punches in not-so-sunny places, and a general brawl, Sollux had Karkat strapped into the passenger's seat with Eridan's bowl in his lap. Karkat continued to grumble under his breath as Sollux backed out of the driveway ever so anxiously. It seemed like they'd be going at the speed of a snail, and that was one thing Karkat refused to put up with.

"Dude, just give me the wheel. You fucking suck at driving," Karkat said.

Sollux took three deep breaths, ignoring Karkat's plead, and soon was heading down the road with almost ease. Everything seemed fine, and they approached the town's center. The hustle and bustle of their average sized city was nothing new. Sollux recognized familiar faces passing by on the sidewalk as they remained stuck in traffic, and almost waved to a few of them. One was the lovely Jade Harley, skipping her way to the central park. She spent a lot of time there, usually watering and tending to the flowers the rest of the community forgot about entirely. Karkat's eyes followed her until she disappeared behind a large moving truck, and then shifted with near embarrassment to the floor of the car.

Sollux opened his mouth to comment on it, but snapped it shut tightly as the light changed to green and they drove along. They dropped into the pet shop, spending nearly two thousand dollars on supplies that took way too long to find. They were on the road again for a quick twenty minutes until they reached the vet's, and had Eridan's health checked by...no one. They didn't serve aquatic animals there, and were referenced to their third stop; the aquarium.

They parked in the lot and ambled inside with Eridan drifting along the bottom of his bowl, fast asleep. A check-in desk required they wear badges and keep their voices low, which both were happy to do since they'd become nearly exhausted. Passing by the habitats quickly, Sollux and Karkat found their way to the care taker's office. Sollux rapped on the door three, sharp times, and shifted on his feet impatiently. This professional sure took his time.

Finally, the door knob was twisted and cracked open. Shoving it aside, Karkat barged into the orderly, cramped room. 

"Where is this marine biologist, the one dolphinpussy with all the answers?" he demanded. Sollux coughed and eyed him, ashamed by his rude entrance. He followed Karkat inside anyway, and clasped his hands nervously. The swivel chair behind a sturdy, dark wooden desk faced away from them, and a head of poofy, deep brown hair floated around its cushioned back.

As the bubbling woman turned to her guests, Sollux felt something rise in his chest he hadn't in a long time. He couldn't remember what to call this emotion. She greeted them almost as if Karkat had never barged inside so offensively in the first place.

"Hi! I'm Feferi Peixes, the big honcho! What can I do for you today?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if Feferi is ever out of character; she's one of the harder trolls for me to write!


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone gets a little more acquainted.

Sollux was frozen in time. He didn’t move and Karkat worried he wasn’t breathing. She was so cute. Oh my god. How was this happening to him? He hadn’t been attracted to a single girl for five years and then suddenly he finds this? Sollux was going to be sick.

Karkat coughed throatily and watched as Peixes slowly became more and more aware of how weird his best friend was being. Wow. He was really going to have to do this, wasn’t he? Karkat buckled up and glared into the fuschia, horn-rimmed glasses watching Sollux get closer to passing out with every second.

“Look, lady,” Karkat revved his engines, “we’ve been all over town today for Sollux’s goddamn fish that for what I know will die in the next week, so I’d appreciate it if you didn’t send us on ANOTHER wild fucking goose chase around the city looking for the shitty, golden tinfoil egg waiting at the end of your sparkly rainbow. So Sollux here has some questions that you better give us the rule of the thumb about, got it?”

Feferi switched her vision to the short, fiery kid shooting insults and cuss words in her domain. She stood up a little straighter, smiled widely, and lectured, “I would be so very happy to help! That is, I would be if I got an apology from you, cutie! Y’see, this is my aquarium! I own and manage it, and I'm a professional marine biologist here! So I don’t think it’s very nice of little boys like you to come in without an appointment scheduled and demand for me to give you what you want, understand? Please, hurry with that begging for my forgiveness and all, so we can scoot along and help your fishy friend!”

Karkat balled his fists while ferociously grinding his teeth. He wasn’t sure whether he could apologize to this wishy washy lady with a too-perky attitude that made him want to piss on an entire ocean of cute baby marine life, but looking at Sollux’s pleading eyes behind his glasses, he knew he had to. A shaky breath later, he grumbled, “I’m sorry I bothered you on your precious time.” Feferi clapped her hands together excitedly. She gushed, “We’ll work on that later! For now, let’s talk about your adorabubble little sea creature!”

Sollux was surprisingly quiet as they sat down to Feferi Peixes’ desk, but Peixes was also surprisingly patient. She waited for him to finish stumbling over simple sentences and seemed to ignore the red hot blush spreading across his abnormally pale face. Karkat mostly sat and twiddled his thumbs, waiting for the fantastic moment when Sollux would declare they were leaving. Or he would have, had Peixes’ assistant not come in a few minutes later.

“Feferi!” a girly voice called as she knocked and entered without hesitation. Her long, curly black hair flipped out at every odd end. Blue glasses covered more than necessary of her bright and excited green eyes, which were curled with tan, laugh-lines of skin as she smiled. Lyrics sprung into Karkat’s head; _She walks like summer and acts like rain._

He took a large gulp and mentally briefed himself as Jade Harley bent to Feferi’s ear and whispered away. _Calm down. She’s annoying. You don’t like how hyper she is. Wow, she smells nice. What the fuck. But she does. No. Stop it. Did you get a whiff of that broad? She smells amazing. She has to have some kind of perfume. I am going to shove burned phoenix testicles down your throat if you don’t shut up._

“Ahem,” Sollux hacked vehemently. Karkat noticed the agitated twitch in Sollux’s left nostril that he only got when he was both embarrassed and peeved. The others were waiting for his opinion on something he hadn’t heard. Karkat, not wanting to seem like he had been forcing himself to stop staring at the knock-out just a few feet away, shrugged and grunted, “I guess so.” Feferi clapped her hands together again and squealed, “Great! Jade, don’t worry about coming back for another couple of hours. I’m sure Sollux and I will have plenty to talk about over dinner!” Jade nodded and laid out her hand for Karkat to take.

Sollux’s blazing blush spread to Karkat as he realized he had just agreed to something horrible. Where was he going with Jade? Why were they separating? Goddamnit, he hated that fish. Karkat frustratedly shuffled past her and out the door, not waiting to hold it open for whatever he’d been tricked into. He heard Sollux whisper a nervous thanks to him as he left. Whatever. It wasn’t Sollux that was going to have to...wait, why was he complaining? Maybe Karkat and Jade would actually have fun. He doubted it.

It wasn’t fun.

Instead of leaving the aquarium, Jade decided the best way to spend their afternoon and evening was milling around the exhibits. They drifted by otters, dolphins, and even a couple of small whales. It didn’t exactly peak Karkat’s interest. He expressed this often.

“So, what, are we gonna stare at these obese turds with tales like a couple of stalkers until morning?” he grouched. Jade huffed and refused to make eye contact with him. He was dumping on her friends! She was forced to defend them, “They are not obese, dummy. Not by their standards at least. Like, you see this beluga whale? She’s a cutie. We got her when she was just a baby! Her name is Miss Paint-” Karkat yawned obnoxiously and interrupted, “Yeah, yeah, yeah, I get the whole ‘save the beasts, save the planet’ speech but my interest dropped to zero percent the second you opened your mouth about it.”

Jade groaned and marched ahead of him. She had been excited to make friends with these new people who seemed to be just as interested in wildlife as her, but clearly she was mistaken. Why had she gotten stuck with the grumpy, annoying one? Feferi and the tall glasses guy were probably having a ball!

They stopped again at several more “boring wastes of time” by Karkat’s definition, finally arriving at the small cafeteria. Its tile was an ugly neon turquoise color that made Karkat nearly vomit in his mouth, but that was nothing compared to the awful walls someone had decided were going to tie the whole room together as a noxious shade of vomit green. It was almost impossible to believe that anyone ate in a room this terrible, but there they were, several of the staff buying food or drinks from the three lunch lines as they were going home. It being closing hours didn’t stop a few of them from passing out at a couple of the twenty different circular tables that reminded Karkat of his high school, unfortunately. He shuddered as the thought of the place, its teachers and principals, his peers, his classes, and his homework passed through him.

Jade Harley seemed to be breathing in the atmosphere, though. Karkat side eyed her and waited for Jade to grab textbooks, her calculator, and join the debate team. She didn’t, instead walking ahead of him and grabbing several fat free, nutrient rich, no artificial preservatives snack bags. This evening was about to get a whole lot longer, Karkat noted. He sighed and snatched family sized chips and a 32 oz soda bottle.

After they paid the dumpy, middle-aged, stressed cashier for their collection, Jade brought him to a window-side table that had a wide look on the parking lot. “Hey, you can see my car from here,” Karkat exclaimed with mock enthusiasm. Jade frowned at him and began munching on some oddly discolored things resembling Cheetos. Neither of them met each other’s eyes. At least five minutes later, Karkat had gone through his chips and was half way done with his Big Gulp while Jade was just starting a second bag of her healthy alternatives. He figured he might as well talk to the girl, maybe find out why she’d ever get into a job this boring.

“Uh, see any movies lately?” he started. Movies were one of the few things he could talk about for hours on end, so it seemed like a good place to start. Maybe she was incredibly stupid to pick this career, but that wouldn’t stop Jade from having a good taste in films.

“No,” Jade replied simply. Karkat fumbled for a second. He asked, astounded, “Wait, ‘No’? What do you mean, ‘No’? How can you not see movies? That’s like...that’s like not stopping to pet a puppy when its going about its merry, fluffy way down the street and just happens to pick you as the chosen one it wants to love.” Jade shrugged. “I just haven’t. I don’t have the time, really.”

Karkat scoffed. “How can you not? What about when you get home after being ogled by these perverted sea mammals all day, huh? You go home, you turn on the television, and you _watch movies_.” Jade raised an eyebrow and gave him a quizzical look. She wasn’t sure why this was so important to the short shouty man, but she wasn’t about to give in and admit she had seen a few maybe a month ago.

She retorted, “You don’t like my aquarium friends. I don’t like your movies. I think that’s a fair trade.” Karkat slammed his hands onto the table, causing Jade to jump and the other sleeping employees to...well, they were seriously conked out. They remained where they were. “Goddammit, why are you so difficult?! Here you are, doing all your damn best to be cute after having such a steaming pile of shit personality, and you can’t even LIKE MOVIES? What is your fucking problem? Maybe if you weren’t such a complete fucking moron we could get along! But nooooo! YOU DON’T. LIKE. MOVIES,” he shouted. Jade leaned back on her cafeteria bench, stunned. She wasn’t exactly sure how to respond to something like that, but she did know all the garbage poured from Karkat’s mouth made her extremely angry. She sat forward and hissed, “Can you keep your whiny voice down?! People are napping, here! And just because I don’t watch movies doesn’t mean I don’t like them, asshat! Just stop talking to me! All you do is get angry and obviously this whole afternoon was a complete waste of both of our time! Get lost and leave me alone if I suck so much.”

Karkat’s chest stung. He’d gone too far and now she wanted to get rid of him, right. He definitely was being a jerk, but he had somehow found himself enjoying their arguments. He wasn’t about to go anywhere, especially when this was the most interesting thing to happen all night.

As he opened his mouth to start another lengthy rant, he heard a feminine voice call, “Hey, KK!” Sollux came speed-walking towards him, trying desperately to keep all the water inside Eridan’s bowl as he clutched it to his chest. “Time to go,” he announced. Karkat had never felt so relieved and disappointed at the same time. He decided it was better to keep his anger up and told Jade goodbye, “Catch you never, bitch.” Sollux looked between them and sighed. As they shuffled to their car he asked, “You couldn’t make even one friend today, dude?”

Karkat rolled his eyes and snarked, “Whatever. Like you weren’t trying to be more than just best buds with the fish lady.” That shut him up. They buckled into their seats and Sollux handed Karkat Eridan’s bowl, like earlier today and as if nothing had happened. Karkat knew what was different, though. He had a crush, a disgusting, ugly, buck-toothed, annoying crush, and Sollux liked a girl for the first time in five years.


	6. End

Hey, I just wanted to post this because this fic has gotten a ridiculous amount of kudos, and I felt like I should make sure we're all on the same page.

I haven't touched this story in almost a year and a half, and in that span of time I have gradually departed from the Homestuck fandom. I packed my bags and have been living with Percy Jackson, and am romantically moving in with Steven Universe. Sorry, Homestuck. If it was meant to be, we would have been married by now. We had a good run in those two or three years, but I'm not in love with you anymore.

So, that being said, it's evident that this fic won't update again. Ever.

Thanks for reading this weirdly long intro to some big fic I planned but never executed, seriously. But I feel really guilty getting kudos notifications in my email without an explanation to the gap in this story that will never be filled.

I  _can_ say _,_ though, that the ending went something like this:

  * Sollux got over Aradia haunting him with a lotta therapy and time spent with Fef (I wasn't very good at creating female characters as more than plot devices, sorry)
  * Karkat ended up in some weird love-hate relationship with Jade where they picked on each other all the time but in the "I love you" kind of way?
  * Eridan the Fish died. Yeah, he was set up for death from the beginning.
  * Sollux sees Aradia's ghost one more time, is taught to move on and get over his fear of driving (?? i don't even remember if I was going to go with that back when I updated this), learned to deal with his inner guilt, and they flushed Eridan down the toilet LMAO
  * Karkat and Jade move in together as Feferi starts bunking with Sollux
  * Gamzee was there



So if I didn't already say it enough, thank you so much for the number of kudos and appreciation of this weird-almost-story, and if you've also transitioned from Homestuck to Steven Universe as a lot of Tumblr has done, myself included, I advise you to follow me here! I want to finish and post my SU fics ASAP, and hopefully don't leave them dead and dangling like this one lol. 


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